#Random 14: Fangirling

This marks my third week (turns out to be) literally a whole-month of me becoming a fangirl of a girl-group!

I know the exact date because I tweeted this on that fateful day lol

EDIT APRIL 7 2021 OMG MY LIFE HAS BEEN A LIEEEE! Turns out I didn't get into Twice on April 7 but on April 13! So it's true then, when I first wrote this blog, it's been only 3 weeks of me being a kpopie. I didn't know why my memory associated that tweet with me watching their MVs though.. Probably I did watch their MV but certainly it was not the day Jihyo became trending on Twitter. Jihyo was trending on April 13 and I did add Twice songs to my Spotify on April 13, so the date matched. WHY did I think I tweeted that on the night I watched FANCY!? I would never know...

Honestly, I have never thought even once in my life that I will be one of those fangirls of a K-Pop group, not even boy-groups. I have always been the type to only like one or two songs of a singer but kinda find the rest of the songs unfit to my preference; therefore, I see no point in fangirling celebs. I never became a fan of any idol. I always had this inner belief that it is never good to become a fan of another human being, never attach your happiness to somebody else other than you, let alone someone you don't know.

Gurl I was wrongggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!

It started quite funny. One night I was working quite enthusiastically on my job then decided to take a little break by opening Twitter. I found out then that a familiar name has become a trending topic on Twitter, let's say it's X. I checked on Google whether X was the person I knew before (girlfriend of another boy-group member). I was right! I looked on the face and actually found her so pretty and so unlike mainstream Koreans. X is a member of this Korean girl-group. I actually love two of their hits since university (I also checked out their dance practice video too often) and I wondered, why didn't I notice her before? I watched the dance practice again and I was like "Ahh so she was quite chubby back then that's why" and "Wow how these simple things really change the appearance of someone."

Then I remember, one of my friends really loved this girl-group's newest song. I never quite got the "fun" of that song but I decided to take another watch of the M/V. Idk, this new song sounded so good that night! Their choreography was also so fun, so fresh compared to their old hits which I had liked before.

The next day, I wanted to watch their M/V again but somehow I got distracted and watched their documentary video in making that M/V instead. I got to know each of their members and somehow got familiar with several members. I also watched their live performances of this new song and it made the song lingered more in my head. At that time, I already recognize several of the members due to me watching their performances and their documentary. I still had difficulties though for several members, one of them is this member that kinda looked older than others in their performances. Let's call her Y.

That's step 1 in fangirling: differentiating most members.

Anyway, when I say "they" or "their" it refers to the girl-group.

Because I was watching their documentary videos, my recommendation showed one of their variety show series. That video was sooooo fun, like I sincerely come to like their personalities more than their appearances or performances. And the member that was so fun in that video was even the one that I did not quite like in the performances because she seemed to be the cold and snobby. Yes, that particular member is Y, the one that I was not interested enough in so I kinda recognized her the last! Guess what, turns out Y is so fun in real life (loll I make it sounds like I knew her fr duh..) and turns out Y IS THE MAKNAE and she indeed has this amazing versatility of changing her delivery/concept while performing. I watched their other videos and became even more amazed by her personality.

Y has this idgaf personality and she doesn't condone to the mainstream norm? In mid-2019 she was starting to have tattoos and I never liked the ideas of tattoos on women but she made it look very good to me that I was kinda inspired to have one.. Until now, she keeps on adding tattoos (can't imagine her having plastered tattoos all over her arms hahaha) and that literally becomes one of the topics that I'm following closely. I adore that she emits this unique and 'different' aura yet you can tell that she is so approachable and fun to be friends with. I jinjja thought that we could be friends in real life because she was just so fun on those variety shows! Until now, I consider Y to be that one member who pulled me to the fandom due to her talent, versatility, and personality off-or-on stage.

That's step 2 in fangirling: really know each member thoroughly that you really make a choice in bias based on reasons deeper than "he's handsome", "she's pretty", or "his voice sounds so cool." AAAA MY BIAS IS THE BEST!!!! (wakakak i swear my old-self would laugh at present-me)

Then I decided that I needed to watch them more! I started to look at their other videos on YouTube. Seriously, they were so fun to watch that now I get why my friend likes to watch variety shows. During my journey, I found that it is sometimes hard to find Eng-subbed videos. It was like fate that I finally found these two wonders: 1) my friends told me a website full of Eng-subbed variety shows that is not blocked y'alllll lmao and 2) VLIVE app that actually provided LOTS of their videos with ENG SUB!

Step 3 in fangirling: download VLIVE :) --> this is peak fangirling tbh. I remember when my friend downloaded VLIVE back then I was like, "why would you watch them talking in a language you don't even get?" bruh turns out videos on VLIVE have subs :''''''' (unless you watch them live but no worries for me). Too much watching their videos made me unconsciously listen to their other songs and now I like sooo many of their songs, not only their title songs!

I felt like I wanted to know them more so I followed them on Instagram and Twitter. Yes, there is an obstacle, their language is in Korean! Then I found out this gem, a fan twitter account, completely translating all the official's updates and even adding some insights! I was sooo thrilled to have found this Twitter account and even thought of paying her through Patreon because I was that grateful. From this account, I found out that they would have this streaming event on YouTube (it was already done by now, but that time I got the information from this fan twitter account). In this event, they are having YouTube streaming to announce their comeback in June and also to release documentary videos. A. no. ther. do. cu. men. ta. ry. vi. de. o.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Step 4 in fangirling: follow all their accounts, like do not just click 'follow' but really follow their activities. I now get the idea of 'comebacks' and cannot wait for June to come!!!! (Update per May 26: I have been religiously being a notification-team every 12pm KST aka 10pm WIB, when they shared their daily updates before the comeback day)

Because I followed this gem on Twitter, I also got to know their airport look photos. That was the first time I really got the idea of an airport look. K-Pop idols are often photographed on airports and I really don't get why, but now I do, fellas. Their airport looks make me want to buy their apparel! :((( I now really understand why clothes they wear become sold out within minutes because I, like many helpless fans out there, just want to dress like them. :'(

Step 5 in fangirling: really search for the apparel they wear, follows IG accounts that tell followers about this group's outfits, and actually becomes disappointed once you find out that most of their clothes are sold out hiks.

I liked to watch their live performances too. Some of their performances are so amazing and unique and mind-blowing (trying to imitate Gaga's amazing adjective vocabulary) and now I get another symptom....

Step 6 in fangirling: I WANT TO WATCH THEIR CONCERTS JUSEYOOO :( I now know what it’s like to desperately want to watch a concert. I’ve been going to concerts several times but I never could enjoy the fun of going to the concert. It’s so crowded, people can be so sweaty and smelly, the voice might sound worse than the recorded version, you need to go hours before the concert, etc. After this fangirling, I regret not encouraging my friend to watch BTS when they came years ago to Jakarta. I could not imagine being in my fangirling state right now and your idol is within your reach but you didn’t go. It’s definitely a totally different situation though, years ago we were broke and the concert ticket might be too expensive, but idk, the fangirling spirit was just too.. overwhelmingly beautiful?? HAHAHA CRINGE ALERT!

The last part is silly but...

Step 7 in fangirling: now I want to buy their albums HAHA however for this one, this is merely because one of their latest albums was really that good and I liked every song in that EP! So I thought to myself that I want to support them and try buying their album. Quite shocked though to find that their album is not that expensive on iTunes but idk.. I stream them so much on Spotify though I think that still can count as supporting them, can't it? I just hope that their new album will be in a cooler format and not in that cuter format, thus justifying myself of another reason to buy the album. (Update May 26: Their newest album pre-order was opened and honestly I was on the verge of ordering them after knowing that in fact, it wasn't as pricey as I have thought before, but I prevented myself because although the album looks so cool, we couldn't pick a design out of three. I didn't like buying something randomly and furthermore I felt no need to have their stickers or photocards which are again, sent randomly lol. I HAVE BOUGHT THEIR MUSIC ON iTUNES THOUGH!)

I am now not as crazy as I was a week ago (update May 26: still not as crazy, but this fangirling state doesn't cease either). I still watch their videos on VLIVE but not as much (I mean, I did watch rather obsessively a week ago so..). Fangirling overall really brings me back memories. It makes me remember how in 2016 I fell soooo deep in the Korean-wave pit. I wanted to visit Korea so much back then, I wanted to try so many Korean foods, and I wanted to learn Korean languages! This desire died a bit during my college years and now it is back. I started to watch several Korean dramas due to the WFH and actually wanted to watch more of them until this fangirling thing botched my plan. Now I am back to the k-pop Nana and brb, I want to learn Korean right away on my Rosetta app!

(Rosetta app is a language-learning app that is provided by my company. I set the language to Mandarin earlier this year because yeah, idealist me.. Now I have completely changed back the subscribed language to Korean and I am ready to learn some hangeul!!!)

Updated on May 26 2020. I must not have been in the right mind while writing this because upon the-very-late proofreading, I find myself struggling to read this! I have edited them! Also, not gonna tell you outright what the group name is lol but I thought you should have figured it out by now.