That One Time With Songs! -- A Saudade On Campus Life

They say saudade is unique to Portuguese, impossible to define in English. Nostalgia gets pretty close, but saudade is more complicated. It's the remnant of gratitude and bliss that something happened, but the simultaneous devastation that it has gone and will never again. It marries the feeling of happy wistfulness and poignant melancholy, anticipation, and hopelessness. It's universally understood by a cross-ocean culture with a constant feeling of absence, a yearning for the return of something now gone. -- Mari Andrew on Am I There Yet?

Songs linger to your mind better. I'm sure it's not just me who can quickly finish lyrics of a song within seconds of hearing the melody! Sometimes, not only the lyrics that come up to your mind but also the memories related to that particular song.

I've been wanting to write a piece about my campus life for the loooongest time! However, as usual, a) I don't think I have the time, b) when I have the time I do something else, and c) then I really don't have the time. Looking back, I didn't even set a particular time to blog. Sometimes I was just studying or doing tasks at night then I blog! This happened back when I was still in high school, though. That time, you really had little things to do and little responsibilities to bear.

Considering these two factors, I decided to combine them! I will be writing about songs that make me remember a particular time during campus time!

But before I start, let me put some background.

I just graduated from Universitas Indonesia, majoring in Accounting, in August 2019. It's been 5 months since I graduated, yet I am still happy that I still have that 'warm' feeling towards my university experience. Needless to say, the 4 years I spent at UI has been one of the happiest years of my life. I really got to learn so many things, experienced so many first times, got to know so many good friends (that I think will stay for life!), and discovered new things about myself. In those years, I have discovered and listened to sooo many songs that I think I am able to reminisce about the memories along with listening to those songs again.

That One Time With OPK 2015 - Cheerleader by OMI

Wow I just edited this on July 16 2020 and I cannot believe I ever forget to add this song!!! This is another 2015 song and I didn't even remember how I got infatuated with this song.

I remember it was the first day of OPK and I have just met Ang for the first time and was introduced to Vero too. She then told me she rented a room and I (quite shamelessly) asked whether I could spend the night there throughout the OPK process (since we needed to arrive as early as 6am with loads of homework to do). She said yes lol and that started our friendship! We then went to her room and us three did our homework there.

While sitting on the floor, she somehow played Cheerleader by OMI and ever since the song always makes me remember of our first get together lol! Anyway I don't even know why Vero played that song because she was never one to follow music trend lololol.

That One Time With Summer 2015 - Roses by Chainsmokers ft. ROZES

I started uni in 2015 and it will be appropriate to start the post by this peak summer 2015 song. It is impossible to hear this song and not have memories brought back to you!

I remember that this is the first Chainsmokers song I've ever heard. There would be many Chainsmokers song to come, they were quite identical, but this song will always be special to me. I remember walking in the morning or in the evening through the foresty street of UI Depok while playing this song on my earphone. I remember waiting for the bikun then having a short ride until Stasiun UI while having this song played. I remember riding the train early in the afternoon, leaving after having the exam, while having the beat drop of this song accompanying me.

Wholesome moments indeed.

That One Time With First Times - Mr. Chu by Apink

This song is special because it reminds me of the time when:

1. We just finished our first UTS in UI.

2. I had my first sleepovers!

3. I had my first karaoke with friends, as long as I remembered, I think I had never done karaoke before.

4. I enjoyed my first K-Pop song!

Other than the enjoyable harmony, I remember the times when I for the first time tasted freedom and a sense of just how rich of a journey my college life will bring me. Oh, I especially love the dance practice version of practically every danceable Korean songs.

That One Time With Singapore - Boys by Charli XCX

This catchy song became a hit in 2017 and I especially played this song a lot during that August. I think I just spent a lot of time with a laptop (since I was doing my INKOMPASS assignment by then) and Boys was heavily popping up in my Youtube recommendation. I clicked to the catchy melody right away!

Then that August, for the first time I went on a trip abroad with my Audit associates. We went to Singapore! It was special because I never went abroad to just 'have a holiday' before. It was so much fun traveling with your peers, so thank you, my sube-sube team! (I actually blogged my Singapore trip with them).

This song reminisces me about that time because I remember one night we were so tired for the so many walking in Singapore. After going to the USS, we were just sitting and chilling in the living room of Evie's apartment. Suddenly we realized that the TV is a smart TV that can connect to a phone, so we streamed to Boys! We were also prompted to stream that song because the MV has pink background and we just went to Masjid Sultan in Little Arab which has cute pink walls, and we kinda took a photoshoot there.

Missing that carefree moment so much. Absolutely had so little money but we were so happy.

That One Time When We Quarelled - You and Me by Marc E. Bassy

Not all the journey that I had gave happy memories! Some moments were quite heartbreaking and lonely. One time, I had a bad falling-off with one of my first best friends in uni. I think this falling-off is quite remarkable in our campus peer-group mapping, if you are on my batch, you should probably know this lol. So I had this memo where I put my 'diary' sometimes when I remember to. When I traced back, it was quite sad that I wrote: "Funny how we may not end something with the same people who started that something with you." I found this memo years later though, we made up as friends and we even graduated together. So I did end the journey with the people who started together with me, thankfully.

I remember this song because it was kept playing on V-Channel. Those times, I was going home late for organizations and committees and I had to stay awake late to do homework. It was a habit of me to open my laptop while V-Channel is playing in the background. When the song played, it kinda hit me hard because: if we bump into each other on a crowded street, it's not us no more, it's just you and me. We're just strangers in passing casually, it's not us no more, it's just you and me! DIDN'T THIS LYRIC REPRESENT COMPLETELY HOW I FELT THAT TIME? We literally did not speak to each other for a year. I thanked my seniors so much that they still trusted us to be able to work together despite the fight because as it turns out, we started to speak to each other due to work-related things.

Now looking back, we agreed that that fight was stupid and baseless. We didn't try to make sense of the other's perspective. We remained the best of friends and I even think we kinda live a similar life that it's easier to share life stories without fearing a judgmental response.

That One Time with Jogja - Sunset Lover by Petit Biscuit

There was a time when my YouTube recommendation was filled with lofi songs. This song came to my recommendation several times until I finally felt hooked enough with the song. Idk, it's kinda sad and makes you want to reminisce something?

Then in April 2018 I went to Jogja with Novi and Stevanus for a competition. That was one of the first serious competitions that I participated in during uni. I remember wanting to join this competition since 2017 but we pursued other competition instead (which brought me to Korea so no regret!). The competition was held in Jogja, so during my hectic time, we allocated time to board a flight to Jogja and stayed there for a few days.

On the last day of my competition, the committee made a farewell video with this song as the background. I automatically recalled the song from my late-night YouTube stream, but at that moment this song suddenly had more meaning to me. I finally got the sadness, the longing, and all the feelings incorporated in this song.

Coming back from Jogja, this song had a different meaning to me. This will always remind me of Jogja, of my first win (it's a second-place but wow!), of so much learning with Novi, of getting to know more about Stev and Novi, of the very fancy Airbnb that we got at a very affordable price (you need to book Uttara Apartment if you go there y'all), of our stupidity for not having our last day booked so we had to stay in shady hostel, and all. I may not like Jogja for its sad aura, but Jogja will always hold that special memory for me! This song does too!

That Other Time in Jogja - Ruang Sendiri by Tulus

One of the moments that impacted me a lot from that Jogja Trip is my newfound infatuation of Tulus. Even though he has been trending the chart since I was probably still in high school, I never find myself interested in his music. I thought his music was just dull with mainstream melody.

Stev and Novi are huuuge fan of Tulus and they opened up my mind about the meaning behind Tulus's songs, and one of those really resonates a lot to me. It is this song! In this song, Tulus acknowledged that alone time is needed and that 'too much you will tire me out'. That is such a deep meaning which I did not think would be conveyed by Tulus's songs. So I was bought. Even though I did not automatically become his fans, I started to have a more open attitude towards his songs later in my life.

That One Time With Alone Time at Green Room - DNA by BTS

If you know me, for efficiency purposes, I have always gone to work or school early in the morning. This is because I go with my dad, then I will take the train or ojek to my destination. For my university days, I go with my dad to Cikini Station at 6.20am then took the train to UI Station. With that, I will arrive at 7.10am. Aside from me having to wake up early, I think this is the most productive arrangement for me. I get to sleep in the JKK-BGR train (always loving Jakarta Kota route!) and when I arrive, I can walk through the trees while still enjoying the fresh morning air.

DNA by BTS came out in late 2017. By that time, I was a Partner in my organization so I have keys to the organization room, the Green Room. Some days, I will have class starting at 11am so I spend my 4 hours in Green Room. I would arrange my favorite spot there, the mattress folded so I had the black side beneath me, the aqua carton box as the table to my laptop, the electrical cord to charge all my electronics, and the fan turned on. Then at 10am, some Associates would come to Green Room after their class ended. Hands down: ONE OF THE BEST TIMES I'VE HAD. It was blissful too because I think by not being a teaching assistant yet, all I did during that time was just happy enjoyable things lol. Definitely doing studying or doing homework is something I liked too. During that 4 hours blissful time, DNA by BTS is my most favorite track. I remember Luzen and Calbun would be one of the regular associates coming to the room and I loved talking to them.

That One Time With Crazy Rich Asians - Vote by Miguel

This is a soundtrack from Crazy Rich Asians I know. Honestly, I don't remember how I start being exposed to the books. I bought my first book during a trip to KL, but I wasn't sure whether by that time I knew this was going to be a hit. What I know is that I was hooked reading this and immediately bought the book sequels during my next trip. The film disappointed me SO MUCH but when I listened to this soundtrack, I know I was gonna like this one! I liked the song immediately on Spotify and this has been the best song ever to listen while walking. Your walk/journey/run is suddenly a directed music video!

I remember this song gave me such a joy while taking the train during an earlier journey back home or while I was walking to my home while the sun's still up. It must be the 7th semester! My 7th semester has been a joyful experience. The course arrangement was perfect, I can still go home early and have some day off.

That One Time With Last Times - 接吻 kiss by Original Love

Ok so this one is especially nostalgic because the song itself gave out nostalgic feels!!!! I tweeted about this before, so let me just copy-paste my words. Exactly a year ago, I heard this song for the first time:

After a final exam, I was trying to finish my CG paper due that day at 6pm in Green Room. There was light rain, it was cold. I didn't go home because later that day I was gonna have our last dinner that year with EA. Suddenly I got drowsy so I slept for a while until Rezky came in and we had little chat. This music was playing and it sounds so good and calming yet sad in a way..

My favorite mattress in my favorite room from that whole campus. Cardboard box to hold my laptop. Power socket for all my devices. Cooling fan in my direction. Only me and the silence. Then this song.

Fucking wholesome.

If asked what music reminisce my last semester at campus, then this is it. It reminds you of the rainy November and December in Depok!

That One Time When I Interned at PwC - Labirin by Tulus

In early 2019, I became an intern at PwC. Tbh this is one of my happiest experiences too among all the internships I've had. This is the first and only time I experienced being an auditor. I mean, the arrangements were just perfect... I got a great team, a great new friend (love u Pingkan!!!) who is literally as picky as me when it comes to cleanliness hahaha. You who have known me well must know that I love Harry Potter so much and I generally loved the idea of a dorm-like arrangement. It's just like a long sleep-over!

So my internship days look like this: my client lent us a house to live in so in 3 months, I practically lived with 16 people in that house. I woke up at 7.50am every morning, went together to my client at 8.10am (I just had amazingly quick morning routines lol), then we went back home at 4pm (loving my seniors at that time for this, I always waited for the "Yuk" HAHA), then we arrived back home at 5pm, cleaned and slept until 7pm, worked until 1am (ok this part doesn't sound fun but ngl I kinda miss this), then slept until 7.50am. Imagine. Me, sleeping for almost 7 hours every day, is a luxury I did not have during my college days. Me, having to sleep in the car all the way to my client, is also a luxury. I effin slept 4-5 hours every day in uni (yo I lived in East Jakarta and my campus is in Depok) and had to take the train then walked to my campus!!!!!! How can I not like that arrangement??? Not to mention that we had late-night snacks, damn I loved our late night dim sums.

And it was during those days that I found my newfound love on Tulus. While working at night, my seniors would play on speaker some songs. Mainly they were Indonesian songs. That time, I think I got to admit that some Indonesian songs are gems and Tulus' were one of them. I remember being super crazy for Tulus's Labirin, Tergila-gila, and Tukar Jiwa sooo much that they kept on repeating in my playlist during our commute from Pondok Indah to Senayan. To this day, I still like those songs so much. I am careful to not overplay the songs because I do not ever want to get bored by them. Now, Pondok Indah holds a greater memory to me than just another upscale residential name and listening Labirin while driving through PI will always bring back those 3-month memories.

That One Time When I Interned at Tokopedia - AIR by WINNER

I actually know this song long before I interned in Tokopedia. However, it is during that time that I become kinda crazy about them. As usual, I arrived early in the office because I go with my dad. I would arrive at Tokopeda by 7.10am and the arrangement is also nice because there, I get to leave at 4pm! In the morning, I would refresh my mind a little bit by doing some Youtube-browsing. One day, I stumbled upon WINNER's radio version of Air and I don't know, I was kinda hypnotized by it? After that, I would casually look at their videos on Youtube when I should be doing my final thesis. Geez.

That One Time With Being Proud of Myself - LUNISOLAR by SHAUN

In early 2019, SHAUN's Way Back Home has just become popular. I browsed to his other songs and I found out that SHAUN's Lunisolar and Terminal is so fun to listen to! His Lunisolar in particular sounded kind of funny. It's not an everyday enjoyable song like Labirin but I get the feel of a self-unraveling (?) with this one. It got beats but not the beat you usually hear.

Anyway, I listened to this song a lot during my last competition in uni, ICAEW Business Case. I remember listening to this one while hurriedly walking to Citos for meeting my mentors. It is a competition that brought me back to SG for the second time and ultimately the competition which I felt really contributing to, which also had complimented me so that it would bring me to my next big trip. I will blog about that trip here!

That One Time in Bali - shut up by Greyson Chance

I loved Greyson Chance during his early journey as a singer. Hell, those were 7 years ago yet I can still sing out loud to his songs! Anyway, he started to release more songs during 2018-2019 and this was one of the songs that have just come out. I liked this song, it is easy to listen to and the lyrics were somewhat liberating. Before graduating, I went to Bali with my friends (again, BEFORE FINISHING OUR FINAL THESIS..). I always imagined that I would listen to this song there and I did! (the lyric is: Lying on the beach, the middle of December and You dress in all black, the middle of the summer. Oke gak nyambung tapi ada beach dan summer! Bali vibes!!!) I did listen to the song in Bali and even influenced my friends. My Spotify was connected to the car at all times!

Oh also surprisingly, almost all interns in my PwC time know the song!!! One day, we karaoke-ed to the song real hard. I even thought about going to his concert on July 27 last year but decided that we much preferred that he sang his old Hold On Til The Nights songs.

That One Time With Graduating - CALL ANYTIME by JINU ft. MINO (WINNER)

The song has just come out in the midst of me fangirling hard on WINNER. The timing when I was at this phase was just unstrategic because I was in the middle of my final thesis deadline! I remember there were times when I would sleep at 3am in the morning but not doing my final thesis. Yes, I would watch their videos non-stop :((( then after that I would hate myself but became too sleepy to work on my thesis so I just slept. The cycle continues for quite a long time, I became kind of afraid that I might not be able to graduate on time lol.

I remember listening to this song while on a shuttle bus from Kelapa Gading to Gading Serpong to rent a kebaya! Yes, I was excited to wear a nice kebaya because I remember regretting so much having to wear a so-so kebaya on my high school graduation. Not wanting to repeat the same mistake, I decided to prepare a special budget for this kebaya. I didn't listen to this song as abusively as I did with Labirin, but I don't know, the nostalgic feel that this song gave me brought me back to that shuttle bus trip. I mean, the first melody even gave GS feels hahaha!

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Overall, the emerging of Spotify gave me much easier access to songs, hence the rich correlation I could make from my life experience and songs I listened to. My yearly Spotify statistics show that I always listen to songs much more compared to the year before, which explains why I have more songs to correlate to in my later days of university. Nevertheless, each year of university gave me so much to learn from and I am SUPER grateful for it. The title and graduation certificate was super nice to have, but I don't think I can have the same life experience again somewhere else. I did converse with my friends comparing how my life would probably be more umm sophisticated had I took my bachelor's somewhere fancier, but I know that I would not trade what I have now with anything else.

I might add or edit this post later if another song comes up in my mind!